1759. "You're On Fire" - a True Story Almost Unbelievably Funny

Here's a true story from this past Sunday that's not yet a poem - and is too funny not to share:

I was on a double date Sunday night. We two girls were early, and the guys were late. When my friend went to the bathroom, the saxophone player at the restaurant saw me and came over to give me a special solo saxophone serenade. When our dates arrived, the saxophone player remained undeterred and decided to continue trying to woo me. He walked over to our table, saxophone in hand, and shook hands with my date and continued flirting with me. He used the ruse of collecting musical play list requests from me and my friends. Later he returned to our table again, this time, bypassing my date and standing in between our table and the one directly beside us. Unbeknownst to him, his coat tail (purple velvet jacket) ended up resting in a lit candle. I said, "you're on fire." He thought I meant "you're on fire" in a flirtatious way. His face indicated his pleasure in what he thought was my responding to his saxophone playing and flirtation. Actually, though, I saw flames two feet high extending up above his head as his whole coat caught on fire. My friend finally yelled, "FIRE!", and I said, "Take off your jacket!" By this time he turned and realized the blaze behind him. He ran to the kitchen where they doused him with water. A few minutes later, he returned to playing with the band.

This was too unbelievable - while still being true - not to share with you.